


tear in my heart

by Anonymous



Series: cb wrote something [2]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Awkward Conversations, Crushes, Declarations Of Love, Dream and Sapnap already lives together in one house, Fantasizing, Flirting, Gay Panic, Getting Together, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I just wanted to write DreamNap, Light Angst, Living Together, M/M, Mild Blood, Mutual Pining, No beta we die like jschlatt, One Shot, This Is STUPID, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Why Did I Write This?, i cant stop describing on how much Sapnap feels happy whenever Dream gives him attention, that's literally the only reason why I wrote this whole fiasco fanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-17 03:28:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29465013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: "Loving you is my worst nightmare, " he cooed, lifting his hands to coil around the dirty blonde's neck, "yet you're the best nightmare I had in years."
Relationships: Clay | Dream & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: cb wrote something [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2165109
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14
Collections: Anonymous





	tear in my heart

**Author's Note:**

> I don't ship real people, just their persona. English is not my first language so if my writing seems like its dying, its because of that.TRIGGER WARNING for the short description of mild gore/blood, nothing too extreme but still disturbing enough for some people to turn their heads away.

For years, they had bonded over the stupidest things from arguing over who's the better pvp player to literally which junk food that is out there to be the worst. Looking back at those, the two are quite fond of those memories as it always ended with them laughing their butts off and making mocking voices of one another.

It's stupid, it really is but neither can deny that if it weren't for their stupid ego boosting and banter- they wouldn't be here right now.

That being said, Sapnap found himself scrolling through his twitter feed liking and retweeting on to other's posts about what they had to say in general or basically just what they were talking about him. He finds it mildly affectionate when people talk about him on the internet showing how much his mere presence and existence changed other people's lives. Likewise, he felt the same but even more so on a particular person.

His best friend. Dream.

Sapnap was in love. Fell for someone he didn't want to fall for but his heart told him to suck it up and let it happen so here he is painfully pining over someone he knows wouldn't love him back. How exactly does he know that? Well, it's just a gut feeling but it's quite obvious that his very own best friend doesn't feel the same. He just doesn't plus it's impossible to make someone so wonderful like Dream love someone like him but even then he can't stop thinking of how the blonde would act around him when they're more than just quote on quote, best friends.

Immediately after thinking about the blonde, he felt his heart accelerate faster than normal his entire body shook in tense as he felt his cheeks bloom in a dark shade of dusty red. Each time the blonde enters his mind he loses his entire composure; it also doesn't help that he and Dream are now living together in the same roof. It's so much harder to keep his feelings away that he harboured for the blonde.

His mind poured out fantasise to satisfy his heart's content but none of those ever really satisfy him. In fact, it only makes his crushing on the man worse and worse until his body breaks from the way his heart would pump so much blood. Sometimes he'd wonder in his own mind that if his heart won't stop beating so fast soon, blood would simply pour out in every hole in his body that it could find much like the infamous fictional disease called hanahaki disease but those were fiction and this one is real but then again, his own mind tends to exaggerate the whole situation.

A soft knocking came from Sapnap's door which immediately caused the man to be ripped off his deranged yet perfectly normal fantasies.

"Yeah?" He called out, elbowing his bed to lift his upper half from the soft cushion.

There was a soft pause before an answer could be heard from the other side, barely audible but Sapnap managed to catch up on it.

"You up to buy some food tonight?" Sapnap's heart thumps against his ribcage, softly berating himself for getting excited over hanging out with his "best friend" that simply just wanted to eat and nothing else.

"Yeah, I'll be out there for a minute." he replied, shuffling off his cushion and on to the squeaky clean flooring he had in the room. "Alright, I'll be waiting downstairs okay?" The other answered back, already walking away from the door already and onto the hallway not letting the younger reply.

Rummaging through his wardrobe, Sapnap simply put on his casual attire as usual as it would be pointless to find a more eccentric outfit when he knows for a fact that Dream is just going out with his typical green hoodie with a smiley face on it.

Jogging his way down the stairs, he met eye to eye with the blonde's vibrant green that sent vibration through his entire core. Trying to compose himself, he coughed as he slowly walked up to the other while he flashed his signature smile.

-

Off to the outside world, they glance around their surroundings. They've seen it countless times yet they can't help but admire it over and over- just like how he can't stop admiring the blonde -snapping those intrusive thoughts out of the raven head.

"So, where'd you want to eat?" Asked Dream, his hands shove down at his hoodie's pocket as he continued to look forward, not bothering to spare a glance on the other. Still the other could tell there was a small smile that formed on the blonde's lips.

"Whatever you have in mind." Sapnap responded, tossing his head to the side to avoid the former noticing the increasing red blush that spread across his cheeks to ear.

He heard the former chuckle, Sapnap may not be looking at him but he can tell that the other had its gaze right at him. Those vibrant green eyes piercing right through him, the glaze emphasising each glint of the color. He gulps.

"That just defeats the entire purpose of my question." chortle the blonde, hands rising up to cover his lips as to not attract unwanted attention from people passing by. Sapnap hates it when he does that cause in all honesty, he wants to hear him all day long. As stupid as Dream's little laugh could get- it made Sapnap smile internally, he finds it quite pathetic to fall for something so simple yet maybe that's the power of love, right?

"Honestly Dream we've been over this." he playfully disputed on the other, gently pushing the blonde on the side despite not looking directly at the other the simple act he did caused tiny little explosions to manifest right at his heart.

"And I've argued back to you countless times that it's never getting us anywhere if you kept doing that, " despite the annoyed tone that was used on the statement, the blonde's lips were curved upright. The raven made a mistake to take a glance, catching the small glimpse of it. It almost choked him alive.

"and it never did!" he gloriously announced, tackling his friend over more on the side. His friend lets out his signature wheezing that sends ebullience throughout his butterfly filled stomach. God, just about everything that the blonde does made him overjoyed. He has to work with that but how can he do that when it makes him so good about himself.

The two ended up laughing loud and clear on the street, stumbling on the track every time they took a step forward. The blonde slipping his arm around the waist of his friend to keep him steady sending a whole new wave of ebullience to the younger once again.

Moments like this is what caused the younger to fall deeper to the blonde's attributes. It's so simple, so innocent and yet it meant more for him. It meant something to him even though he knows this was nothing more than just a friendly gesture. He knows that but what's the fun in that? Surely a small fantasy of his own best friend wanting him couldn't hurt. Actually it could potentially hurt him considering that one day he'd catch his own worst case scenario manifesting into a reality.

Thinking just that caused the glee before to dissipate into thin air as gloom entered his mind. Sapnap didn't even notice how the older stopped messing around, both of them stopping on their tracks while the hand that was wrapped around his waist gently squeezing in the smooth chub of muscle underneath his clothing, those same goddamn eyes staring right at him with worry painting the features of it. 

He unconsciously pouted at the idea, huffing out softly still dazed over it. "Sapnap?" that seemingly caused the younger snap out of his mind.

Sapnap turned his gaze up, everything suddenly registering to him from the way Dream looked at him to the hand that gently squeezed his waist- he found himself burning up. Pushing the older off to the side of the road, he tossed his head to side again as to not let the other catch the oh so obvious blushed that has spread like wildfire on his entire feature for like a full on 5 minutes now since this whole situation occurred.

"What?" he retorted, crossing his arms together. Why is he such a mess? Why can't he keep his heart beat down at a moderate speed? Why can't he just be normal whenever he's around him? How many times does he have to ask himself those questions? His mind is really nothing more than a jumbled mess. He keeps getting absolutely lovestruck.

"Nothing, you just got quiet all of the sudden." answered the older, sliding his hand off the waist of the younger. He huffed his chest in return, setting his sight forward again away from the view of the younger one. "Right, okay, Let's go somewhere that isn't way too crowded then."

The rest of the walk was silent save for the few comments thrown in between but mostly silence occupied the two and quite literally it both suffocated and relieved Sapnap. Suffocated because he doesn't know if he soured the mood of his friend just because of his stupid setback, Relieved because atleast the pounding on his chest calm down but it was in a permanent tense, its pounding slow but each pound that his heart let out was a little bit too much for him to handle causing him to have a shallow breath.

Silently agreeing that they're just going to eat at a fast food restaurant, the two didn't bother to go as far as away from their shared roof. Finally reaching their destination, they took a seat on one of the tables. Facing one another though neither would budge to directly look at each other's eyes. It was horrible but that horrible feeling was replaced when Sapnap had to mentally slap himself for realizing that one of them has to get up from the sit and order their food on the counter.

He was about to stand up when Dream took a stand faster than him, startling him a bit from the sudden movement.

"Anything you want from the menu?" Dream coughed, his eyes still wouldn't gaze at the mocha shade. Sapnap just stared at him, unresponsive to his question. It made him shudder which caught Sapnap's thoughts. "Any type of burger would be nice." Sapnap diverted his eyes far away from Dream.

Nodding, Dream left Sapnap alone at the table to be within his own thoughts. The tension between the two is getting delirious, Sapnap's getting sick of it both emotionally and physically.

At times like this, Sapnap wished that the hanahaki disease was real so he could determine whether or not his emotions were reciprocated but alas, reality isn't like that plus the disease would've killed him instantly the moment he'd catch it because there is no way in hell that he wants to suffer that long to know that his wonderful crush to not be so wonderful as it was the primary source of his misery- hell, even without the fictional disease his crush is still the primary source of his misery. He doesn't need flowers to not be able to breathe properly, all he has to do is look at Dream and immediately he'd lose his common knowledge to exhale and inhale.

Seconds passed, Minutes passed, literally feels like it's been years since Dream got up and went to order something from the counter. Now Sapnap isn't the type to be impatient but the mere fact that it felt like hours had passed since Dream left the table was starting to get on his nerves.

He tried to reason out, maybe the line was just super long and Dream had also been dying to get out of it, maybe the staff is just having a hard time on trying to gather up their order, maybe Dream ordered more than he should have, or whatever is making the blonde take so long it's really getting on Sapnap's nerves.

Unable to keep himself at bay, he twisted his body to turn towards the empty line where the blonde should've been. Sapnap raised an eyebrow questioning where his best friend could've been. Confusion, panic, irritation clashed together as he frantically searched the place up and down, left to right without moving out of his place. When he really can't find the blonde anywhere, he rose from his seat leaving the table empty not really caring anymore if someone else decided to stride in and took it. His best friend basically went missing without a trace.

Looming all over the place, he nearly gave up until he heard the all too familiar laughter echo across the crowded place

There he found him. Standing by with the tray of their food in his hand while he let out a breathy chuckle talking to some person. It made his heart ache.

Not wanting to stay for too long and see where the scene is going, he left but before doing that he let his presence known as he let out an exaggerated sigh with the heels of his sneakers clicking behind him alerting the older to divert their attention to him.

Sapnap stomped his way out of the restaurant uncaring of what others may think of him due to his poor attitude, the cold breeze of the outside immediately kissed him in the face as the sun set down a blazing ray on the earthly grounds.

Frantic footsteps tailed behind him but he doesn't bother to stop in his tracks. He was being irrational (he's painfully aware of that), Dream doesn't belong to him and neither does he belong to Dream so why is the sight so eye gouging?

Truth be told, he wasn't even angry. Just hurt. He created an unnecessary drama simply because he was hurt.

"Sapnap! Sapnap!—" Dream coughed, trying to catch up with his best friend. Sapnap heard his name being called out but he chose to ignore it. He can't handle facing him right now until he calms down from his irrational hurt.

The younger yelped when a hand groped his wrist and pulled him behind to turn him face to face to the very person he would rather avoid. His heart dull ache began to change to the phase of a rapid banging against it's boney imprisonment.

"What is wrong with you?" Vibrant green eyes stared right down at him, a sweet complimentary color to match his deep blushed face.

"I.. I don't know, look it's— it's stupid I-" he was hushed when the older pressed a finger against his lips while the other hand snaked around his waist.

"Was it because of me talking to someone else?" Sapnap couldn't find the confidence to open his mouth so he just nodded his head as an answer.

Dream hummed, returning his finger back at him before sliding it around the waist of the younger to accompany his other hand on it.

The two stood there together in complete silence. Two heart beats as one played in to act like a background music. For a while it stayed like that until the older breath out,

"Do you love me?"

The younger's breath was caught in between his lungs, his pupils constricted in pure shock, his mouth hanging out trying to release the words he wanted to say but none came out.

"Do you?" he leaned down to let their foreheads touch. The other shudder.

When no replies were being returned, Dream decided to let go since clearly the silent treatment was already an answer to begin with. That was his intention until he heard a voice other than his own speak up,

"Loving you is my worst nightmare, " he cooed, lifting his hands to coil around the dirty blonde's neck, "yet you're the best nightmare I had in years."

Dream smiled, leaning in to the warm touch that coiled around his neck. Satisfied, he grasped tighter on the waist like his life depended on it.

"I love you too," he replied, "and that was a little bit too poetic even for you Pandas."

This isn't really the conclusion of their story but it sure is the beginning of something both of them were asking for.

**Author's Note:**

> Literally woke up from my sleep and started writing this at 1-3 am in the morning. This was supposedly going to be extremely short with me just indulging the whole 'I confess I love you' thing but I got carried away with the build-up so here we are with a long one shot. Istg I won't be writing something this long again.


End file.
